It's hard not knowing where you stand
Cutting corners
Gluing ends
You never really had to deal with the fear of not having enough
Until you were the first to want more
They never had a child that knew she deserved and was capable of more
There was always enough
Until dreams got bigger than daddy's apartment
Bigger than the tan house on the corner
Bigger than the two puppies mama brought home so each daughter had a cuddle buddy
That's when things started slowing down
When mama started saying no
When daddy's tone started to sound less like baby girl can have whatever she wants to
Calls about taxes fafsas and loans
It's when the excitement about a full scholarship died down and the beginning of why didn't you do more scholarships, why didn't you win..
It's when you start feeling a guilt for wanting to invest in things you've never seen and mama says your money could go to something else and you start getting fearful that she may start enforcing where your own hard earned money goes.
It's when you know it's time to move on.