still can't accept this gripping reality
that's hitting me right on the cheek
i thought i would get past this
actually thought i did it
it only took one moment
to change everything
and go back to where i was before
here on my knees
asking for forgiveness
am i still whispering Your name in vain?
is this silence still your answer?
these goosebumps on my flesh never seem to go away
is this a sign of your yes or no?
i never figured it out
Lord maybe you could've said something a little more
distinct so i would've known
who it was
is there any reason
any reason at all
to why i'm doing this again
why do you permit this?
i'm asking question after question
the same
questions i thought i
knew the answer to but you
keep proving me wrong
when's all this going to end?
when am i ever going to fully comprehend
the silence that greets me
when i whisper your name
wishing it was enough to fill
this void and this pain
couldn't ever yell it out (not what i want, no)
for fear of being called crazy
talking to nobody
i know you're there
so
please,
answer me
what's the point of all these cruelty
that never seem to stop haunting me
i swear they're always at the back of my head
telling me to do things i wish i never did
they're all there
imprinted on my skin
i call out to you
"God, please save me"
i told myself not to expect anything but
i still get disappointed.
is this how it will always go?
push and pull?
as if there's no way to bridge this gap
as if your hand was never enough
to pull me back up?
You died on the cross
to rid us of our sins
how come i'm still like this?
with unanswered prayers and broken dreams?