I don't deserve happiness,
I don't deserve love,
I never wanted sorrow,
Nor have I wished to be lonely.

I had wishes and dreams,
some were deep enough to still survive,
"I want to be a prima ballerina, and make everyone smile"
"I want others to love my art"
"I want to be a mermaid and swim all day"
"I want to be a voice actress"
I wanted so much,
promised so much,
but it all fell away,
Logic over took dreaming,
and reality woke me up.

I wish to fall asleep,
and dream again,
but I don't expect much,
Money gets in the way,
but I used to ignore that.

I would teach myself the ropes,
and amaze others with what I know,
first
second
third
fourth
fifth
position
I taught myself them all,
through libraries and books.

On days when i grew bored,
I would draw until I got better,
eventually they called me an artist,
but I'm no good at all.

I dont diserve these talents,
If they'll never get used.
who's to say I'm even good,
If everyone is better than me.

I wasn't meant to be here,
never wanted,
only tolerated,
a problem for everyone,
who only deserves to disappear.

maybe then I will make everyone smile,
but I wont go down without a fight,
but I want to be their angel,
The reason for their smile.