Every time
A car saunters by
In the blistering heat
Breaking up the visible waves
And making my heart skip a beat
I think of how unholy I must seem now
Only because you simply
Cannot, will not
Just leave me alone.
I'm shutting myself in
In my house, in my mind
Because I am so afraid
Of confrontation with you
Of interrogation
Of your judging looks and incriminating comments
That make me feel even worse
I'm scared to go back
You have scared me out of religion
Out of believing
You have shut me in
Like you tried to shove me into the doors of your church.
Every time a white truck
Pulls into the driveway across the street
Of just how everyone is a sinner
How you have tied me down there forever
How lost I am, when I know right where to go
How you shut me in and secured the doors
Removed my comfort and injected paranoia
Just leave me alone
In my shut-in mind
Because I do not want to go back to your church.
Goddamn.