they played our song today, and it all came rushing back to me, all at once, like i'd stood up too fast: there i was, sitting next to the raging bonfire, chilled to the bones, despite its incessant warmth; and there you were, across from me, distant, despite the skin on our hands kissing intimately; and there you went, drunkenly stumbling away toward your friends, toward something better, singing at the top of your lungs a song that i wanted you to whisper solely to me.
and he asked me how a guy like you could break my heart, and i told him i was in too deep: i was at the bottom of a deep, dark hole and you were at the top, hollering down to me; and all the anger, the lust, the frustration, every twisted emotion you ever made me feel, came to a boil, bubbling over my surface and out onto my tear-stained cheeks; and i wondered, after almost a year, how you still had this kind of hold on me, when i'd told you goodbye and meant it, how you could get me to feel something i thought i'd forgotten, how i was quick to defend you like you never defended me.
but no more.
i've had enough.