I've run out of words to use to make it seem like I'm okay.
The last time you kissed me you accidentally took my smile,
when you left you forgot to give it back.

I will never run out of things to say to you,
but I ran out of chances to say them months ago.

There will never be anything big enough to fill the hole in my chest.
The one that I've lived with for so long that it feels like I was born incomplete.

There is no dam powerful enough to stop the tears that reappear in the warm months like the leaves shed by the trees in the wintertime.
There is no joke funny enough to make laughter strong enough to keep the sadness at bay.

I wonder if I will ever feel more than okay,
if I will be able to find my smile without having to see you again.

It scares me that I might not.