I am honored by your repulsive behaviour
to know I can have such an impact on your character
leaves me breathless
memories flood every *****

my blood feels thicker everytime a drop of you comes to my mind

my heart feels heavier

my eyes feel wetter

why do I feel posined by something so beautiful
why am I intoxicated and drunk of the thought of something so natural

do you wake up with glistening cheeks
like I do

no its not a dream
I understand that this is my reality
I always look back
watching as these thoughts retreat to everything I ever believed in

in everything I never believed in

no words escaped your lips when I slowly walked backwards torwards my sunless house
where only few flowers grow in its vast landscape
---
but I saw the look in your eyes

I
didnt know

exactly where to fall
or if I should have let myself fall at all