would I imagine myself throwing myself
in the arms of desperation after many years
of annihilated love
after many years of baroque turmoil
tinted with smiles
and kisses on my shoulder

multiple
one ten
maybe when I'm mentally exhausted 2
I drained myself of ability
to perceive the difference
between the look in your eyes
and the look in mine

what does it all mean

I'm standing still and all I can hear
is you yelling at me
you cursing at me
you drenching me in the pain that
I have caused you

you kissing my neck
and then slashing my back
with the knife we have built together
of our linking souls

I smile and tell you to just leave
and my carelessness draws you closer to me
then ever before
and I move further
wanting you
yet I move further

what encompasses my sickness in love
destroying my perception completely of the monster
who was suppose to save me so long ago
under heaps of destruction i find myself
mendled by all your pretty things

and then at the end of the day
I sleep with tears on my lips
love.