07.26.1998
dear ashley,
you are beautiful, my fire fly,
i know you do not believe it now,
i know that this will be the year you are ordered to wear pants,
to feel the food you stuff into you,
and your parents will increasingly start to critique
all that you consume,
i know as things changed it was first about control,
then about coping, i know that now,
but how could you have known that it would become all consuming,
the need to feed,
like prey who bleeds,
you know the feeling of a sharks eating frenzy
im not writing you so that the burden you carry gains weight,
just to remind you that I love you,
all the parts of you that are growing and the things that are withering i pray that you hold on just a bit longer,
you see ,so much has happened since we last saw each other,
public school
private school
highschool
homeschool
private school
cyber school
university
hold on babe,
keep dancing in the rain,
bathe in sunlight like a beautiful blooming flower you are,
hold tight to your innocence,
know that you are enough,
that you can battle dragons and save prince charming,
know that you are strong,
that even as you battle your fears of
control,
of rejection,
inadequacy,
and displacement,
know that
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL STRONG COURAGEOUS SPIRITED SMART CREATIVE INTELLIGENT,
BUT MOST OF ALL
YOU ARE FOREVER LOVED
BY
YOUR FAMILY
YOUR FRIENDS
AND ME,
I know that you will have to make hard choices and the road to discovering who you are isn't going to be like the walks in the park that you and I both loved so much,
but babe you are capable and strong enough to handle the brick walls and speed bumps.
I love you,
Ashley Marie.