What is the use of being on fire
if you can't share the warmth?

I sleep alone in a pile of ash.

What is the use of being a good swimmer
if you're too far underwater to come back up for air?

I'll rise clean soon if I'm not dead.

What is the use of speaking beautifully
if no one is listening?

I fall on deaf ears with clumsiness that would turn the drunkest men into ballet dancers.

What is the use in being useless?
What is the worth in being worthless?
Where is the end in a pain that feels endless?

Why do they care when I'm so careless?

I ask questions that have no answers,
and have answers to questions no one will ask.
If my life's goal was to be a soulsucking enigma,
then I'm all done now.  Riddle solved.
I could end the unknowable by doing the unthinkable.

But I'm not done.  I have two more things.
A heart that never did me any good,
and one more question with no answer.

How did you do it?
Cure the deafness,
make it to shore,
ember to inferno,
******* how?

I won't say I want to be you.
I couldn't without us laughing
an awkward silence
into oblivion.

But I marvel at your strength.
I want to prove them wrong
and have what I love
just like you proved them wrong
and have what I love.

You swept away the ash and I beg for your broom.

I'll make it out soon.
Until then,
try to love me anyway.
It's more than I deserve.