I hear your sobs from the bathroom
And I hope it’s not what I think
Pray I misunderstood
Hope and hope so deep
We open the door
And there you lie
Lost in some fog
Then I realize
From the look in your eyes
And the colors I glimpse
It’s all over the tiles
And it covers the sink
The scene freezes in silence
Images flashing slow
We try to grasp in an instant
How it began to flow
Searching for the tool you used
That would lead to the breach
Searching for the weapon you chose
To finally... sleep
And I wonder...
*“Is this it?”
“Is this the day
Our life will collapse?”
“Is today the day that
All my fears come true?”*
*Will there be no other laugh
In our lives forever stained
Will there be no innocence
Left from what was shed
Is this the date cross-marked
In our memories forever
Is this the day so black
Where our dreams shatter?*
As I hear the sirens fade
I’m left in silence, petrified
In shock staring at my hands
Voiceless and horrified
So unbearable
That it dissociates me
So unshakable
That it suffocates me
Breathing the thick air
Painfully into my lungs
As I wash blood off my hands
And clean the bathtub
There were no tears that night
Just a blinding pain
As sharp as the knife
You pressed to your veins
Oh mother…
What have you
Done?
You have left me
Forever
Terrified
For things
To come
Couldn’t you spare us
I was just a child
In this bathroom who would comfort
The little girl I was?
Couldn’t you handle
The anger and the tears
Preserve your children
From their worst fears?
You’ve shattered our lives
From your own weakness
And filled our eyes
With... endless darkness
Broken our hopes
For any peaceful day
An anguish for tomorrows
That will never melt away