as i was lying in bed last night, my mind raced, as usual. thoughts zipped in instants - why what who who who why's mixed with images of imagined images, images i have experienced or images impossible to experience - words floating in and out of each other, caressing, lingering fingertips
a few words joined at the hips and rested for a long, tremendous instant – [eliminate connotation] Reality is a Cage, I am a prisoner of my reality - everyone is trapped in everything - how can i get free! how do i freedom climb jump dive?! FREEDOMFREEDOMCAGEPRISONI I I I I I CAGE I AM NOT THIS BUT ALL I AM IS THIS
i sat up and rolled in my blanket so that i was cacooned AH Waarmth dropped my body sideways and my face hit my pillow I sit up again And look around at the black and white the thoughts SWALLOW ME everything we do everything everything self control moderation ambition ******* money Reason law health Children Music Epiphany love strife religion every religion every belief Understanding sanity self built cages
DULL SELF BUILT CAGES
If this is all i have made for myself! ridiculous! why haven't i been more creative! more colorful OUTRAGEOUS I am THROUGH Dulling My Existence
why have i hid in this pool of peace and wisdom and identity in hope for understanding and existence WHY do i wallow in this puddle of thought! WHY DO I MAKE MYSELF STILL
I dont want to be in the room this black and white stillness
fear of other sways into me i see it and i see it dim weak feeble I Smash it! out out out anything but stillness anything but warmth anything anything I FREE MYSELF
BRIGHTEN This CAGE
OUtside OUTSIDE golden ice firm underfoot space all around icy breath exPAAAAND EXHAAALE
I walk so quickly but i cant get away there are people there are things everywhere and i cant get away there fences around all these planted trees males playing football in the icy 1 am air i walk through them and laugh laugh
walk walk i see a bunny and I chase it! AHahahah DELIGHT you must run fast when things eat you
I slow down SMILE my whole feels
I keep walking climb a fence see im in a small enclosure climb this big green metal box sit look to my right theres a bigger brick box climb the fence with ease step on this other square thing YES i look around and scream at the top of my lungs AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! to HEar it with these ears i want more AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! i laugh delightedly and lay on my back looks at the stars feels the chill in her fingers allows her body to shiver not attempt to control
gets up and looks around climbs down so easy!
trees in a row rusty red baseball dirt scraggy asphalt rocks geese waddling away Vibrant Golden Night! the lights sphere into the biggest orbs of light rays ive ever seen before! i sit in a baseball dugout
she lights a wet leaf smokes spindle away outline the vague air that i breathe she holds it up to the moon
casts off her glasses i see it BLOOM there is a visible entity flows into form pulsates clear in the white orb
she sits and stares ignores her stinging eyes
getting up, she climbs a fence hops down smooth landing every time
EXHILARATION SENSUAL INSTANT FREEDOM
she walks once more and sees her shadow for the first time how lovely this absence of form, this evidence of form how unappreciated she bows to her
she walks once more and climbs a fence once more to walk on astroturf bhahahaha! she plays with her body Cartwheels for everyone!
I look to the sky Stretch out arms and SPIN and SPIN AND SPIN SINGPURESPINSPINSPINSPIN Truth whirls beyond her Freedom RIVERS Through Her
No reluctance, she returns to her white walled hallways Her electronics Freedom RIVERS Through Her And Sleep Welcomes Her She forgets her dreams she wakes while i dream while i paint limitless freedom