He's told me I'm pretty,
He's held my hand.
He's done everything perfectly.
He's different from you.

I guess I wasn't meant to be pursued by you.
These thoughts of you, of him, has driven me crazy and promoted memories I thought were long gone.
Why are you on my mind?
I thought the memories of you were as distant from my heart as distant as the time we once had together.

Remember the times we laughed in the river and danced by the great oaks...wait no.
I can't go back to the past as much as I've tried.
I've loved you more than you will ever know.
I've prayed more for you than any other soul.

And as if you haven't done enough, someone finally comes around and makes me feel
Beautiful
                 Wanted
                               And pursued.

And yet I STILL think of you, of the memories.
Of the dreams, hopes, fears and doubts.

This poem was meant to say goodbye, a memo to forget.
Yet all it's done has explained the hell my emotions take me to and the feelings that make me die inside with the thought of life without loving you.

Because even in the pain, loving you was so sweet.

But R this boy, he's doing everything you never got to do.
Maybe your prayer for me was mine too.
That one day we'd be able to find another person that could love us,
More than we could ever love ourselves.

And maybe who knows, one day I'll see you again.
See your gorgeous wife, and your bright blue eyed kids.
See the future you always dreamed of as your reality.
You'll give me a knowing smile,
A quick side hug.
We'll both remember the memories; the past that is long gone.
And when you walk away, I'll look back knowing,
That I never moved on.