Sometimes I just want to exist and have nobody know that I do.
I think they call that solitude.

The struggle comes with the quite often daily
battle against the innate human nature within me
that yearns for social interaction, inclusion, or as I see it invasion.

Invasion of my life, who I am, and what it makes me.

At times I accept the compliments and the positive remarks aimed at me by others
but for the most part I shy away as though it’s all I know to be a pessimist.

It is almost as though I am constantly battling
against my inner self with the vibrant urge to seclude myself from anyone and anything
that is remotely like a positive influence
as though I don’t deserve to be liked or accepted.