Failure:

It leaves a sour taste in my mouth, a ***** feeling on my hands, and bitter memories stained into my mind. I have failed more tests than I can count, more than I can remember. I have gotten bad grades, one after another, day after day. I have been on the verge of ruining my future, but gone ahead and failed another class anyway.

I have been the girl with grades as low as her age, I have been the girl you whisper about in the hallways as you walk past her: did you hear she failed because she didn’t even study

But who cares if I didn’t study, I would rather sit back and do nothing and fail an exam than dedicate all my time to studying information I will never understand, just to take a test where the teacher can tell me I didn’t study hard enough if I could still get such a low grade

I have seen my best friends spend an entire weekend pouring over their physics textbook, their math notes, their history study sheets, and then I have seen the crushed look on their faces when they still get a failing score. I have seen people try their hardest to do well and then get it thrown in their faces as the grade on the paper tells them it wasn’t enough

SO DO NOT TELL ME I NEED TO STUDY MORE, DO NOT TELL ME I NEED TO TRY MY BEST WHEN THE SCHOOL SYSTEM IS JUST GOING TO SAY MY BEST ISN’T GOING TO CUT IT. DO NOT TURN YOUR NOSE UP WHEN YOU HEAR I DIDN’T STUDY FOR MY MIDTERM BECAUSE WHAT YOU DIDN’T HEAR WAS ME CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP BECAUSE I CAN’T BEAT THIS SYSTEM, I’M EITHER LAZY AND IRRESPONSIBLE OR JUST PLAIN STUPID, I’M STUCK IN THIS NEVER ENDING CYCLE AND I CAN’T WIN, I CAN’T PLEASE YOU, I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, SO MAYBE NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I’D RATHER DO NOTHING