We are creatures of flesh and light and movement.
We go through life.
Things happen.
We do things.
We remember things.
Our past is not a term paper for someone else to grade, or a map on our skin for society's gaze.
So lay off.
Gain some wisdom and some understanding.
Find some humility and some awe.
Go sit by the sea and think about it for days on end until your head hurts and you are thirsty and all you want is her - however she is, whoever she is, wherever she's been, whatever she's done.