are you really so ill
that you can not stomach
one word
I tell you

you just nod off
as if you want to sleep
and then
turn up the music
the music you play
isn't creative
and now when I look back at
this memory
maybe you aren't either

maybe it's what I have needed to
see all along
that
you were flawed
worse than I was
and I was only flawed
because of you

but then again
I still need you
I don't know if I
can look at you,
though