The aftermath
is almost worse than the surprise and maybe
It's just me-
Wrecked after every time we hang out
Becoming so close and intimate and vulnerable with you
Getting into the mindset that we'll be this way for a good while
But we wake up, like a one night stand
And we have to say goodbye
It wrecks me

But it's demanding to be felt now
So I will not hold back even though I'm weak
And I realize after you leave each time
That I'm alone, in a new city, friendless, homeschooled
I don't really have a life anymore
And maybe that's why
Waking up is the worst part
Because we have to throw clothes on a just say goodbye

And I want to steal you for more than a couple hours in an afternoon
Or for a night
I'm clingy and I don't want to let you go.
Because even though I know it's not
It feels like we are so separated. And

It kills me every time I know you left and are doing your life thing.

The aftermath is sometimes worse than the surprise for me.