This time - things change.
Perhaps change isn't the correct word...they vanish.
The sins and errors: no more.
The tears and pain: non-existant.
You, i do not deserve.
Nevertheless, need you.
And no...to let you go is never, never has been
and never will be, even an option.
To the others i will talk no more.
The others i will see no more.
There wasn't any others...
Just the curiosity of my inhibitions.
Damn that human urge!
Oh, damn that human nature!
For sorrier I have never been and the words said now
Are as real as the air we breath.
Thus.
Here i sit, in this lonesome place.
Full of ignorant people who stare at me and feel pity.
Pity! Ha. Not even sympathy.
Yet here i sit.
Writting words that to you, have no meaning.
But here i sit
...still writting
...still grieving.
Thinking of what to say -
only if there was anything to say.
Thinking of what to do -
only if there was anything to do.
Thinking of us -
only if there was any 'us'.
Everything becomes insignificant
if not of yours.
Everything is now nothing.
But what is nothing?
The absense of everything.
And everything?
- is you.
To live on with my life. Impossible.
To act like this doesn't affect me. Impossible.
To let you walk away in pain. Impossible.
To hurt you once more. Impossible.
To listen to the so-called advice. Impossible.
To laugh at the most probable ending. Impossible.
To not love you?
That too, impossible is.
Thus.
Here I stand.
In front of you i will place myself.
My eyes will stare into yours and
(though i'm probably confusing reality with my own fantasy)
in loyalty and bliss we will prevail.
The love will overstep human instincts.
For what we have isn't human
- it's godly.
So here.
One more written promise.
Only this time there isn't a third person to influence.
Only this time, though capable of sharing,
to myself i keep.
The start of a new beginning - if you will.
Because as hard as you may try
to stare at me with disgust and anger,
it's as how much it is visible in your eyes
that you want this 'game' to end as much as i do.
For i still see the love -
and the possible forgiveness.
For i still see
the hope.
True love doesn't vanish into thin air.
It doesn't vanish because of the errors.
As much as you may want to escape from it -
it stays.
And it only grows.
I'm deeply sorry you had to pick the one
that only learns the hardest of ways.
But she does love you.
That - has never been a lie.
It is as much as a lesson to me
as it is to you.