I can’t remember a time before the cruel words that were exchanged for me, there was never a moment of silence, of protection from the wounds that those words caused. the lacerations that tore through my soul, leaving marks that never stopped bleeding, that will take years to finish healing. I try to remember the good memories, the moments of  fun when I didn’t want to run for my life I was a scared little girl trapped in a world of pain and sadness. the energy that it would take for me not to cry would drain me. you hurt me, and him for years I shed too many tears because of your words over time you got worse, and it hurt that no one saw the monster that raged inside because it would hide when others were around. it hurts that he doesn’t remember, that I’m the only one that seemed to see. for years she didn’t want to believe me she wanted to live in blissful ignorance and let it be. I often wonder if those memories were dreams fictional scenes concocted by a scared child’s mind twisted into reality was I crazy? you don’t remember the words that you screamed you don’t want to hear them out of fear that you could be like your father. you hide from your actions and don’t take responsibility you shield yourself in a cocoon of false prescriptions attempting to right your wrongs by using doctors descriptions of illnesses that you don’t have, you say that you lost everything you guilt us three with more words words that are riddled with lies because you want to deceive our minds of the crimes you have committed. you say that don’t have enough time so you try to buy it with your stupid games the games that you play when you want us to stay because you are lonely we are not your toys to play with when you get bored.
you want to fix what you have done, not because you are sorry but because you got caught. you don’t want to pay for your actions you don’t want to feel our pain. but what is there to gain from the desolation of your fiery words.  there is nothing left for you to take so why do you keep coming back for more? you won the battle so put down your smoking gun.
despite the fact that you have hurt me, you have taught me a lesson that I will never forget, and this lesson I pass onto others for protection against the demons that lie in wait hoping that someone will take the bait.


Sticks and stones will break my bones, and words will do the same.