not poem, nor soliloquie, but thoughts
by lady-lazarus
Life is but a series of redundancies strung together. Sitched with tragedy by bloody hands, I only hope not to stain the thread.
Every event in this existence is nothing more than a domino in an endless time loop
, constantly falling/ constantly falling / i am falling.
fact: the name of the spots on domino tiles are called pips and i’ve tried killing myself two times.
The night I snuck 3 orange bottles from the kitchen cupboard and melted into pillows/into bed sheets/ into wooden ikea frame
waking up to not shiny gates but my mother holding a skeleton in the shower
head in a galaxy so far way i almost missed my alarm clock.
i wanted to hit the snooze but got a glass full of charcoal instead.
mm was just how i like my coffee, black and vomit inducing.
fact: charcoal is among the purest forms of carbon as are diamonds
I am not a diamond, but a piece of pyrite. fool’s gold.
The second time two years later involved a bulk bottle of excedrin
one part aspirin, one part tylenol, one part caffeine.
if you ever try to off yourself i don’t recommend this recipe,
dog ear it in your terminal cook book as do not try this at home
you will lie on your bedroom vomitting your intestines until your parents are tired of hearing it
They will make you go to school the next day.
You wont.
fact: The most common causes of death are heart disease and cancer. Suicide is number 11
My world spilled over like a bag of glass marbles hitting the floor