You used to be a daydream.
Now, you're the one that wakes me up at midnight-
foggy and unremembered.
I wish I could ignite it.
Watch your blue sweatshirt turn to ash and
watch that smirk from a moment in the rain that you waited all your life for shrivel up into nothing.
I wish this Hi-Polymer eraser could erase memories.
The white rubber, mister magic,
never met you.
Never. Never. Never.
Never hating you.
Never letting you learn my name.
Never figuring out that you weren't as bad as I always thought.
Never yes or sure or maybe or a nod of my thick head.
Never take your hand or lean into you or feel your embrace for the first time-
Pulled away in the pool and ran away down the street.
Never cared enough to break someone's heart.
Never let your saliva twist around inside my raw and bleeding mouth.
Never let you give me presents or given you my own.
Never given you myself.
Never said yes to Prom or let myself kiss you four times or stay until three in the suicidal morning.
Never let you come back under the blazing sun or bore your way into my core.
Never given you my every piece of me to set in place of your missing, sad pieces.
Because you thought you were whole enough without me.
But I can't take those pieces back.
Maybe I can try and erase them...