Snorers all scattered world-wide in offices and homes in boardrooms and bedrooms; O Snorers all loud and clear low and shrill - listen ye to the loud wake-up call as from Rip Van Winkle's Snore
stand up united and drown the howl of protests against snoring that is surely no less divine than the Chorus of Angels in Heaven - for the great God who made the Aurora no doubt also conceived of the Divine Snore!
and so, stand up, ye sonorous Snorers! unite! I call unto ye! unite against the detractors and the critics and the complainants and those of low culture who cannot lie still and listen to Snoring as one rightly would at a concert hall listening to the delightful play of a quartet of violins
O how long will you take it lying down, ye blessed Snorers of the World? let the world know the first divine music was indeed the Snore; and the very height of human communication is the unabashed snore for all other modes of communication lead to mis-communication but the language of the snore is always exact and crisp! the message of the Snore always precise! the meaning always loud and clear! and the very height of the snore (let us declare to the world) is the couple in bed snoring away together beside each other making such divine music making love with the rolling thunder of snores so that one might say: do we have a couple of wild boars copulating in the next room?
stand up, O Snorers of the World - and defy the mockers and those who seek divorce on grounds of insufferable Snoring; stand up against those who sue for loss of sleep from friendly, neighborly Snorers; stand up now against these losers, these whingeing nags uncouth and untutored in the mysteries of the art of the Snore! stand up and with one loud blast of a universal Snore, with one melodious Snore let us drown their dissenting voices, their unprovoked cacophonous complaints! stand up, Snorers young and old! unite, Snorers black, white and gold! defy the world! O ye Snorers of quite nights and of lazy days: let us overwhelm the world with the pleasing symphony of Snores; let us bless the ears of the world with the dulcet streams of varied notes and arias! stand up! unite! - O much-maligned Snorers of the World! with one voice raised in a triumphant Snore let us declare: *No longer will we be silent! Our voices will be heard!