We spent two unhappy years together taking pictures and holding hands to make a fool of the rest of the world,
I swore I loved you and although I sometimes believe I still do,
I know that deep down I never really did.
You were my first kiss in a movie theater and even though it was the first time anyone had held me that close,
Your breath tasted terrible.
Your hands were rough and your palms were sweaty and although you had good intentions,
You were holding on too tight.
I needed space and by that I meant I wanted a break,
And by a break I meant you were the worst lover that would ever make his way to my house at 3 in the morning,
You called me every night but sometimes I just really wanted sleep.
I made promises to you I knew I would never be able to keep but you believed me any way and I'm sorry for the false hope I gave you.
We sat in your room and we closed your squeaky door and I let you see places of me no one had ever seen,
But you would not be the last one to do so.
I hope it didn't hurt when I stopped answering and never called you back,
I hope it hurt less when you heard he had left me after he found out what we did while he was away.
We spent two long years together,
But you seem just like a stranger I sometimes find it hard to believe this wasn't some kind of realistic dream I had.
I hope you're not upset anymore and I hope what I did to you won't keep you from believing that she will do a better job at loving you than I did.
I hope you haven't gave up the dream of becoming an artist,
Just so you know,
I still have every hideous painting you gave me.
I haven't really changed much in the last couple of months,
I'm still a wreck confused on what is real and what I've only made up in my own head.
Don't miss me too much or you might accidently say my name while you're whispering in her ear,
I still think of you but I don't think I miss you as much as I should after two very confusing years.