I miss you, but I know you are toxic for me.
I think about you every night before bed,
and wish you were still lying next to me.
Even if you always faced the other way.
My heart nearly stops,
when I see you driving around town.
Even though the passenger seat is where I sat many times,
while you screamed at me.
I miss the way we laughed,
and the way you made me whole.
Even if you were usually laughing AT me.
Without you it feels like a part of me is missing.
But for the first time, I feel whole.