What does a lover want to hear, that you kept me alive even when I
Wanted to die I wanted it all to end
I didn't want to **** myself but sometimes that sneaking dark crept up on me

I wouldn't have fought

But it's not true, I kept me alive
I made myself trudge forwards and I cried, I was a waterfall of hatred and salmon swam upstream they left half-moon scars beside moles,
Their tails were the silver nailcippers in my skin lashing furious obsessed
(i told the kids to wait a second and watch tv while i found their nailcippers)
(i doused them in peroxide and rubbing alcohol)
(i told their mother my aunt i cut myself while shaving)

it was

          not an accident


i could say you kept me alive but it was me, i kept me alive


what do you do?

i can say only this:

in your mind i find someone i respect
in your arms i find the sleep that eludes me
daily


it is not love it is

                                                          


                                                        More.