We all feel mad that we can't go back, when life gets black, we all feel blue. I KNOW you, which is pretty true and you too, you KNOW me, and what else is chemistry but rather molecules that get along? Is this a rap song? Maybe. All I know is me. which is to say, I don't know me at all. I'm a white wall, in a bathroom stall, in for the long haul, years of markings and tourists signatures, left by ***** and inconsiderate *******, never thought about a future, too concerned of others to live for myself, it's ******* ******* and it's time I jump off the shelf I sat upon because time's up for me, show's on. I went so long ignoring myself, it was wrong. and even though I can take free love, I gotta be strong; I gotta say no, and not because I want to, but because I need to. I made a promise to my heart that I won't start to love another until I pull together some better weather for my own **** self.

Forgive me if I miss my chance, hopefully later I'll be re-offered this dance. but my friend, I need you, until the end. Who knows what love could do? It could put a stake through me and you, or maybe it could be the best thing we ever do. Either way this needs to wait, I need friends and family to support me, and that lost girl that you speak of, that you see, that's me, and I appreciate your kindness and care; I know you're there. She know she's blessed and she's scared to walk away, even temporarily, but you know me, and we both know alone is what I should be, if only temporarily.

I also feel like in time you may find that I'm not the girl that will blow your world, but I probably look a lot like her. She's gonna be nerdier and dirtier (minded) than I, she's gonna be funny and enjoy acid highs, she's gonna wanna travel wherever with you, and she's not gonna be miserable too. I don't know what I'm like just yet, not exactly who I am. Maybe you can't live with her... or maybe you can. I don't even know that I want to, but I have to try to. Maybe it's not in my fate, but I do too hope that all the pain I have within will dissipate so I can learn to have less hate; I don't always want to frown, don't always want to look down. I need to hold my own chin high, not let someone else help me get by. Time's the only thing that tells, so best to check the wishing well in hopes it all works out swell.