It is twilight in the summertime.
I am alone and I walk on the empty street.
There is the heavy scent of rain
And the light gusts of wind
That chill to the bone
I see the glow of the TV in other people’s windows
No one is watching
So I run and jump and run and jump
There is a shadow of the kid I used to be.
And with the wind
Comes the laugh I used to have.

The pavement is warm from collecting sun all day
And it doesn’t hurt to walk on
Because my feet have become tough as leather
As they always do in the summertime
From weeks of running barefoot
And even when I step on a piece of glass
And bright red blood dots my trail
I hardly notice
Because to this kind of pain
I am immune.

Nothing feels this free
The only thing I hear
Is the sound of my own laughter
But it is different now.
There is a hollowness inside
Because something has left
A sort of spirit has cracked just a little

Now I am aware of horrible things.
People don’t whisper
When they talk about death and dying
Cause they don’t have to worry
About ruining innocence
That was robbed long ago.
A price you pay for age.

I am not broken.
I have hope.
I am just like the rest of my youth
And embrace the role our generation will take on
I believe that I can make a difference.
But with remembrance and reflection
Comes the capability to hold a grudge.

Something is missing.

I cannot run and jump forever.

My shins hurt.
And my ankles sting.
And my back is starting to ache.
And sometimes my heart feels smaller
Because my breaths are shorter quicker
And I know I am not the sinless little girl
I used to be.
The line between right and wrong
is not so much blurred as it is ignored.

Sometimes we are aware of the mistakes we make
And with each one more
We move farther and farther
From the child we once were.

When I was little
I was not afraid to run in the rain and catch a cold
I was convinced there was a monster under the bed
And I wanted to hold my mothers hand
And I would pretend to be asleep so my dad would carry me to bed
And I was afraid of the kids
Who burned ants with magnifying glasses
Since then
I have gained a little maturity
And a little bravery too.

But now I care to look in the mirrors
Now I judge.
I do not enjoy ice cream as much as a used to
I do not jump in the river with a dress on
I do not paint with my fingers
Or leave crumbs and chocolate stains on my face
And I do not believe in the Easter bunny anymore.

My mouth will not make a smile as big as it used to
And my eyes will not shine as bright
Because no longer am I shielded
From cold, hard reality
The purity I once had
Is shattered.


When it starts to rain
I stop running.
I stop jumping.