Your body lay next to mine, the morning sun
burning your outline, ashes into the air,
as I reached out to catch the remnants, palms empty.
I felt your name escape my lungs, evaporating

into the damp grey. Body weighed down by
empty sheets and the aching emptiness.
Mind racing miles, a carousel blurred in confusion.
Entirety of my being desperately weeping.

An addict through withdrawals, all I want
is one more hit. One more time to hear the
sound of my name fall of the surface of your
lips. One more memory of you brushing the

hair out of my face to brand its way onto
my brain, to relive it over and over again.
One more night of holding my body against
yours, the warming comfort of your skin.

My bones long for you, fatigued by your absence.
There is no color, there is no sound, there is no taste.
There is no sense without you here,
without the certainty of your existence.

I cried for you not to go, on knees in prayer.
So afraid of losing what I prized most.
But you never stray from my mind,
declining the wounds of loneliness to ever heal.

But to be near you without your touch,
to have to act like I don’t know all your secrets,
that I’ve never held your naked body,
that you don’t give my life meaning

is the worst punishment of all.
I’m in love with this addiction and
I’m not about to quit. My string of
****** that sends me to nirvana.