I hate looking at street lights when I'm alone.

The day that I  want things to change,
when i want my parents gone,
when i don't want to remember the favorite songs of my friends
when the day comes that i don't want to think about your
scent that is truly unique, and about everything you have drawn
on your skin, oh God, the day I need to believe in You,
When the things at night stop shaking me awake and I don't have to cry about everything that ever was I'm forgetting everything and i cry harder than before
When I stop feeling the way I am now,


I'm putting steel to flesh.
Hammer to bone
rope to neck
poison to lips
cold steel underfoot wind tearing away at my clothes and hair as my fingers are holding tight and bloodless as my last way back to earth

I'll jump.
(I already want to leave)