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Apr 2014
Can you pinpoint the exact place on the map
Where we went wrong?
Tell me,
How long did it take
For our world to crumble down
Into tiny microscopic pieces of sand
That’s been stuffed inside an hourglass?
Tell me,
Why does it still hurt
So much like being stabbed in the gut,
Why all the butterflies that used to reside in my belly
Have been transformed into a deep sea of gushing blood,
That what used to be in my veins
Are now pouring out into this open letter
I’m writing for every person
I’ve hurt before.
Tell me
Where I went wrong,
Why I can’t seem to find the coordinates of the person I used to be?
Tell me
What exactly changed?
Why I can’t seem to look into the mirror
Without seeing a complete stranger
Being reflected back at me,
Why everything seems to be going in different directions,
Why I’m feeling so lost
When I’ve been crawling on the floor trailing after something that’s too good to be true.
Tell me,
Do you remember how everything used to be?
How everything was perfection dipped in gold,
How we used to laugh together
Without a care in the world
And how I thought your giggles
Sounded like an angel’s voice?
Do you remember
How we used to stay up together
Talking about your problems,
About your well-constructed plan
Of having kids,
How you were going to name one of your daughters after me?
Do you remember a place on Father Time,
When we were important to each other,
When we called each other soulmates by blood,
That I would be written into your journal
For all of eternity,
That whatever will happen in the future,
We will always remember the bond that we had?
Do you remember that?
Tell me,
Do you sit around after dark
Thinking of what could have been,
Praying to God
That this will all turn around,
That we could forgive each other for everything that happened,
And all the miscommunication that we placed between us
Only needed a simple call
To fix the distance we knitted together with our bare hands.
Tell me
Do you cry late at night
Like I do?
Do you ever feel lonely
Because I’m not there to kiss your forehead?
Tell me,
Where did everything go wrong?
Can you find me a place on this globe
Where we can mend this broken relationship together,
Where there’s a fountain that stitches up broken people
And shattered friendships?
Will there ever be a time
And place in this world
Where we can put aside our differences
And move on
From this massive grave we put up?
Tell me,
Will there ever be a time where you forgive me?
Jaya Gumatay
Written by
Jaya Gumatay
409
 
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