I would be lying if I said that I would be okay with losing you
I don't care what the reason would be or if you even think about it
I would care, like I care about you being happy and still loving me
I don't know how to really describe the overwhelming dependency I have

Because I am so in love with you, in love with every single moment spent with you

Everything I'm afraid to tell you is still scattered across my floor in the form of sticky notes
Everything I've ever wanted is imprinted on the back of pictures of us written in pencil

I would be lying if I said that I'm happy because I can't be
I don't care how I act with other people around because that's not who I am
I would swear up and down and around the moon if you would believe that I'm only real with you
I'm a cardboard cut-out of a girl smiling and that's about it
The girl you met a year ago is hiding behind, trying to count the number of days she's been without you on her fingers

Because I miss your smile, I miss the details of your face and your hearty laugh

Everything scares me because your hand isn't holding mine and you can't be here while I sleep
Everything gets so blurry and I feel numb without you making me feel alive again

I would be lying if I said that it doesn't scare me to write something this honest
I don't usually explore this part of myself for the obvious self deprecating reasons
I would prefer writing about how amazing love is than describe how its absence breaks me

Because you've always been the one person who I could tell anything to

But I don't feel like writing one of those poems today.