I used to write down all my secrets
And put them in envelopes
I addressed them to
"The person who keeps everyone's secrets,
Please hold on to some of mine
Because I'm crushing under the weight that they hold"
But because I never met anyone like that
I just stuffed them away in my underwear drawer,
My sock drawer,
My supplies drawer,
My junk drawer,
But eventually I had so many secrets
I ran out of evelopes and ran out of places to hide them.

You kissed me the same day you told her you loved her
You held my hand when no one was looking
Yet you held her entire body as if you were the pedastool
And she was an idol
Her flawless skin
A reminder that I will never be
Flawless enough for you to want only me

It wasn't until all my secrets came flowing out
Cluttering my heart
That I realised I'm your only secret
Do I keep you up at night
They way you haunt my dreams
Afraid to fall asleep
For fear if I hear you say my name again
Ill fall even harder than before.
I doubt it...
Ive been here enough times to know that
I'm just another girl who's heart you keep in a jar on your night stand
Along with the rest of your collection
Yet I don't feel the need to self harm because these words are already sharp enough to cut me open
People always told me to fight for the ones that I love
And baby id fight for you
But there's no point in it if the competition has already won

My heart became the battle field
***** and bruised
So here I am
Admitting defeated
You may have destroyed my dignity
But I have won my respect
Im as fierce as a lioness
And I don't need to be tamed
I won't jump through anymore fiery hoops
Just in hope that one day you'll love me in return
I'm not gonna be another welcome mat on your front porch
Because you're not welcome to walk all over me
You're not welcome to leave behind the ***** particles of your ****** life and expect me to clean it up
You're not welcome to wear me down and then replace me with someone new
Because eventually i'll get used to sleeping alone
I'll manage to stay out of the coldest corners
While still filling up the bed
Every morning ill regain my strength over a cup of coffee
And I'll pick up my pen
I'll write about us
I'll write about how we weren't a tradedy
Just a season passed and a lesson learned