Its 2 am, I’m crying so hard I can’t breathe

I don’t want to remember the way you held me
After too long apart

I know that nothing is real anymore
It’s all just pretending
I’m pretending to be functional
And you’re pretending you won’t get tired of my unintentional games

This coffee is pretending it can wipe the sleep
from the back corners of my insomniac brain

In my mind’s eye I keep rereading your snapchat
You have yet to open my sarcastic reply
I have to be sarcastic in my replies to you

I’m afraid if I’m real
You will see how you can break me
Snap the last whole piece left in the cavern of my chest

I don’t want to be broken anymore

Its 2 am, I’m learning how to breathe through the pain
Of being alive when everything in me rebels against it

I’m learning how to live with the sound of my heart beat
In every moment, even though all I want is a bit of peace

Quiet, in the way I never want to be with you again