you're drunk and *******
screaming between
spewing *****
how you have
always
hated me.

i'm terrified but i
refuse
to give you the pleasure
so,
as you smash your fist through the plaster by my head
i laugh and wipe absently at the tears.

you roar
and fume
and spit how you're going to **** me
i double dog dare you to try
making sure i grin wide to show you i mean it.

landing on the floor
in a sweaty heap
still mumbling about
the time i lost your mother's necklace
you pass out.

it hits me then,
laying in bed
like a truck
or a train
like your hate filled fists
punching holes in the walls.

i shake
and i cry under that hand
that crept up and clamped itself over my mouth.
i'm helpless
and afraid
and as i watch you sleep
i wonder if the buses have started running
and if
you would even notice
or care
if i was gone in the morning.