I thought I could purge all the flowers and metaphors trapped inside my rib cage with stems tickling  my esophagus.

Blooming on the tip of my tongue, teeth locked them in but finger allowed escape.  
Hand prying its way through my mouth, I wished to pull out my intestines and allow the stitches holding me together unravel.

Beauty doesn't thrive in an abandoned building so I let them free, no sense carrying casualties in a house destined to burn.

I remember the first time I prayed to the porcelain throne, begging for salvation.
A feeling manifested in my stomach and infected each vein, it swam through bone marrow leaving behind a trail of decay.
My framework was rotting and mind consumed, knees fell to the ground and I prayed for forgiveness, acceptance and peace.

Every time I vomited I felt one step closer to heaven, as if entrance to the gate had weight restrictions.
You stepped on a scale before they sewed on your wings, for all angels have to be pristine and my soul carried the weight of an eternity of mistakes.

I was a coward hiding behind a romanticized disorder to avoid reality.
The light has grown within, it keeps my food safely in my stomach lining and let's my words out,
A lesson I've been unable to face for years.

I remember the day I was diagnosed with EDNOS.
Eating disorder not otherwise specified.

I wanted to punch the specialist in the face with my emaciated knuckles for degrading the massacre I instilled on my body.
Not bulimia. Not anorexia. Not specified.

She tied me to a label that said the years I dedicated to restrictions and malnutrition and stomach acid dissolving the very foundation of my teeth meant nothing.
**** your dsm 5th edition and the ****** waiting room keurig green tea with low calorie sweetener you provided for each session.

I found a reason to live within myself.