I'm stuck
I've sunk
And can't move a thing
Im paralyzed
I'm frozen
In my own mind
I try to be calm
I try to stand up
But I sink right back down
I sit and let it come
Small little breaths I take
For the anxiety that still lies awake
I curl my fingers and try to grasp the floor
For I must not tell lies any more
Frozen i whisper
"But witch ones are the lies? "
Do I exaggerate or is it just full blown ties
I curl my knees and hold them to my chest
I bow my head
trying to be the smallest thing yet
I fall to my right
Stuck
Frozen
Paralyzed
In this moment I fell it there
The black hole that eats everything that it cares
Some days are big some days are small
This week it's been bigger then them all
It sits there inside of you
While it poisons you from the inside
The thoughts and fears all so strong
I can't stand up
*** I know I'll fall apart
I hear it tear and rip me to shreds
While my head plays a tape that never ever ends!
I just sit there
Let it eat me bite by bite
I can't get up today
It's too ******* bright
Then I see my whole day go by
My mom yells, my teachers get mad
I fill that hole more every day I sit here
Because I can't do it
I've lost hope
That I'll do anything good
I'll just waist away here for all my life
Then suddenly I'm out on the street in the same position I've always been
Same clothes
Same thing
I hear foot steps
Confident foot steps
High heel foot steps
Happy footsteps
I turn around
The footsteps stop
It's a women
In a pink dress
Put in heels
She looks important confident
Then I see her face
She is staring and me as I am to her
Oh my god I am her!
She looks like how I always wanted
We try to touch our hands but mine go through hers
She is the future I wanted but never got
Because I'm still being eaten by that stupid black hole!
She looks at my eyes
She sees pain and sorrow
And biggest of all regret
I look at her eyes
Those bags are gone
There was pride and success and confidence
She looks at me and sings
" I have seen the rain
I have felt the pain"
I sang "I don't know
where I'll be tomorrow"
We sang in harmony "I don't know where I'm going I don't even know where I've Ben
But I know I'd like to see em again"
We sang the whole song
And laughed till it hurt
She looks at me and says
"That hole down there
Is smaller then you think
If you just sing
It will go away, Shure
It will come back
But now you know
If it dose
You sing this song
Remember me
And everything will follow along."
I started to sing
"we have seen the rain together"
She joined "we survive the pain forever
Oh it's good to be home again
It's good to be with my friends!"
I open my eyes
Was that a dream?
I don't know and I don't care
I've seen my future and it's gonna be great
As long as I don't let my depression
Consume my life!
The last few words I got up
And went to start my day
"Oh it's good to be home again
It's good to feel that rain"