When I dream of my father I see only a glimpse of him His glancing blue eyes and small overflowing smile. But he catches my gaze and we see each other And something snaps in the air Static and grief and love. I awake from screaming his name, DAD, My mind calm and my heart soft and confused. It is a strange and beautiful thing To be seen.
I stumble sleepily out onto the sidewalk Slapped by the maddeningly brisk and groggy morning air Knowing we saw each other. I think of home And how it is slowly dissipating like a small sugar cube Into the dark smokey coffee of momentum Of my life. One stir and it will be gone forever Leaving a lingering sweetness somewhere deep inside me. How strangely we've scattered in your wake, Dad.
I feel a wind shift ever so slightly The same wind that carried and bullied me all the way to New York City And I know that things will never, ever be the same. It is so hard to be afraid With this wind at my back With the man I love most in this world Holding my hand and holding my heart.
I miss because I love. I fail because I try. I succeed because I am willing to fail. I fear because I want. I want because I need. I fall because the world will catch me.