I'm a spill out of cab doors
a spill on your bedsheets
smeared lipstick on shirt collars
the bandaid on bloodied knees
and dried mascara streamed tears.
I'm that sticky shot glass
the bathroom stall stumble
a slutty slipped tongue.
tonight I'm undone.

I'm the blank stare smoker
tad-whipped toker
the take her and poke her
slap her or choke her;
you ask my number and forget my name.

the loud laugher, the screamer.
yet I have nothing to say to you.
keep urging me not to be shy;
you'll never understand how my life
is a movie I sit back to watch.
you're only a red-shirt, only disposable,
only the used ******,
but *** is how I know I'm real.
I pretend to be drunker, dumber, easier
than I am
because I want to be allowed
to close my eyes, to scream, to enjoy this
******* moment.