O come
gentle persons all
and listen to the woeful tale
of an unfortunate lover

1
I pitied Cinderella
and knocked at her door
when everyone was away
and I sang:
Come, run away with me
and I shall look after you -
all the days of my life
all the days of yours

Get lost,* she said.
I’ve a premonition
of glass slippers
and Princes and castles

2
And so I went to fair Verona
to see if Juliet would
give me her hand
but it was her father
who showed me the toughness
of his servant’s hands

3
And ah, I went to Rapunzel
and I said:  Oh, let down your hair
and I’ll come to you;
and I’ll find a way for both of us
to run away to better lands


Get lost,  she said
You don’t look like a man
who can afford to get
me the best shampoo
and golden diamond-studded hairclips -
new ones everyday
for my hairdo

4
And so I waited
for Cleopatra
till Brutus and the conspirators
stuck their daggers into Caesar
and I went to her mansions
but the guards seized me and they said:
You ever heard of Cleopatra’s needles?
Where’d you like us
to stick them in you?


5
and so, desperate,
I went to **** myself
back in Verona
in the family crypt of the Capulets
and woe is me -
I really don’t know why -
but I’m thrown into prison now
*‘for the ****** of two’