you know better than anyone
that I cant say no to eyes laced
with innocence, kind of like yours,
and I am all too often the
first to close doors and burn bridges.
I'm sitting next to you, pretending
to be fine, as if each breath you take
doesn't reopen sores in my
empty chest, leftover from just
before I forgot what it was like
to feel, from a time when I was
begging for salvation from anything
that reminded me how real and true
it was that you were gone. You left me,
but i'm the one who left myself
alone. nobody made me sit by
the phone, staring at our picture on
my shelf. Except...your heartbeat sounds
just as it always did, which reminds
me that, as soon as I got rid of
my pain, I wanted it back. And your eyes
still feel like rain; your lips still
don't understand why anything other
than "I want to die" tastes like a lie