Sir, I do not see the necessity
of this your classroom exercise that
I should calculate numbers
and perform addition and subtraction feats
all in my head;
this is really too much, Sir…
and while I have always thought you kind and benign,
I see now you have a sadistic streak
Perhaps, Sir –
your childhood was likely not a happy one,
and you now unleash all your anger on us
poor young things and demand we use our heads.
Ah Sir, what did they do to you in your childhood
that you should inflict this counting in heads on us?
It might help you heal to talk
about your childhood travails, Sir –
rather than use this form of torture on youth and so perpetuate this…
For truly, Sir - this counting in my head
which you require today
is really too much;
I mean I have used my fingers and my toes
and I have used pebbles and beads and shells to count
like 1 bead to represent the number 10 and so on…
And when all else have failed
I have even used other people’s heads to count!
and so I can do it all that way
but to use my own head, Sir, as you demand
now that causes in me a severe headache
Sir – really you should not inflict this on us
for I predict now, Sir –
there will be a day when
someone will invent some form of tablet
as in tales of magic and fairies
in which one will be able
to touch numbers on the tablet
and the tablet will be powered within
and the tablet will do all calculations for one, Sir –
and then what need this calculating in one’s head?
Ah Sir, enough of your old age and ancient theories
and ready yourself for the brave new world
for really
this counting in my head
makes my head spin round…