I have this friend monstrosity
He is the worst of company
Each morning when from bed I rise
His snaggled grin greets my eyes.
Together we clump down the stairs
I brush my teeth, he sheds some hair.
Next our breakfast we partake,
Mine is pancakes, his is steak.
We go outside to attend the chores,
He dawdles away until half past four.
I begrudgingly take him to the park.
And let him loose until almost dark.
When I call him back to take him home
I am greeted by snarling, blood chilling moans.
Getting him back to the yard is a fight.
My only blessing is he's afraid to bite.
Once in the house he must be cleaned
That is when he gets real mean.
Keeping him in the tub is a life or death struggle
He likes dunking my head until he sees bubbles.
Once cleaned and fed I bid him good night.
His howls keep me up for most of the night.
I have this friend monstrosity,
Would you kindly steal him away from me?