One night while I was sleeping
The bed began to shake
I knew right then without a doubt
That I was wide awake

Here they come once again
To take me for a ride
I saw their flying saucer
It was much too late to hide

So I put on my old blue jeans
And headed for the door
When I saw this giant beam of light
That ****** me off the floor

I knew exactly what they wanted
And no they didn't use a probe
They didn't **** my brains out
Or even ask me to disrobe

They were looking for a hillbilly
To teach them a thing or two
Like how to skin a possum
And how to make rattlesnake stew

Them aliens were some friendly folk
They said they liked the way I talked
They told me that was the reason
That I was the one they stalked

They asked me about beef jerky
And how to tan a hide
I showed them my old **** dog
As they watched me beam with pride

They said they really liked my truck
And wanted to take it for a spin
So I stuck that thing in four-wheel drive
And you should have seen them grin

When the night was finally over
I thought I heard them say
We'll be coming back real soon
As I watched them fly away

I only had one problem
As I sat there on the ground
Them aliens done up and stole
My very best blue tick hound