The day the rumors of my secret touched your ears,
They ripped apart everything you knew.
How could there have been so much pain
Hidden behind crinkled eyes and a metal-mouthed smile?
So much pain that my own flesh and blood had no clue.
Yet all I did was comfort you.
Daddy's chin wobbled as he told me
How scared he was because he couldn't save me.
Tears ran down his face
While he crushed my lungs and cracked my spine
And I feel like dying because
You're not supposed to see your dad cry.
Momma's cheeks were wet when she told me of her insecurities
And how she saw herself in me
And she sobbed because she thought it was all her fault.
I traced my body's lines
Because you're not supposed to see your mom cry.
You both came rushing in
Momma begging Daddy to wait.
I slowly lifted my sleeve
You both began to weep
Momma whipped questions around
Without bothering to wait for an answer
Daddy stayed quiet, not knowing what to do.
I was trying to force my chest to breathe as I looked at you two.
I felt my blood like cubes of ice
Because you're not supposed to see your parents cry.
I let you hold my hand
I let you squeeze my head to your chests.
And I'm so sorry I let you down
I'm sorry I lied when I said I'm alright
Because I know for a fact
You're not supposed to see your mom cry.