sat down with it,
meant to use it,
if you don't use it
you lose it,
so, it is lost as can be expected,

like something else was lost today,
when three youth chewing gum,
decided that the occupied crosswalk
was a drive thru at full speed,

jumped in time, looked too late to get their
license plate, but something was lost,
temper
insensed, always losing things these days,
pretty soon my passwords will all go astray,

like a cat,
like my write arm,
like my favorite pen,
like my tongue for spoken word,
rested it put down, now flown like a bird,
cannot call out or call it back

it was here a moment ago,
quiet poise,
confident plan,
pen and nerves,
ink stained hand,
blank slate waiting...
                   waiting still...

getting late,
nothing to hang onto the quill,
and yet my heart beats,
                   faster as listening to notes played, so only the bones in these ears vibrate,

trembling, not of fear,
but inadequacy,
hollowed out trunk,
filled with rot,
spoken poisonous
words,
birds looking to peck
eyes for treats,
oh what has cracked
the mirror this time,
so much clear tape,
layers
and layers,
and layers holding onto
dirt,
self-loathing or
      foaming at the mouth,
the rabid,
the rapid fall and decline,
can't see clearly for all the tape,
the mishapen place,
of unkind reflection,
     this disgrace,
                          best at being unsuccessful,
                            sole occupant of the cesspool,
crap....

still can't find my right arm,
hope it is safe away from harm,
so when it is found, let there be a will to write.