i confess i’m a little in love with my sadness.  the way it flays me open & scours with acid.  how it is the only thing i can count on to stick around.  i can count on my mind to craft its own disaster.  i can count on my brain to betray my body.  you learn to love what is given to you.  so i learned to love what keeps me up at night.  i broke my own heart long before anyone else came around to step on the pieces.  me, i’m a secret you won’t want to keep.  shove me out the door.  secure the locks.  tell me to leave before i strike sparks from your skin.  tell me i’m as worthless as i feel.  tell me i’m nothing anyone would want to have.  tell me there are countless girls you’d find easier to love.  be cruel to me.  be the monster i am to myself.  please.  if you’re going to break me, get it over with.  make the first cut.  i’ll be gone from the moment the words find themselves on your pretty mouth.  but honestly?  of all the things i wanted, you’re the best i’ve ever held as my own.  let me pretend you think of me in forevers.  let me dream a little while longer.