In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself in Christ. In order to truly live, you have to keep dying to self too. In order to see the truth, you have to let go of the lies and the world. In order to be loved by people, you have to become a servant. For even Christ came here not to be serve but to die for many. Life is very hard, but Christ shall keep strengthening you. So trust in Christ, and you shall be at the feast of Christ.