I can’t be a part of them.
You say I can’t.
They go off and live with reckless abandon
My heart is there or was once
but you have beaten it out of me
You have scared my free spirit into over-thought, and not intelligence
I can’t stay here.
You say I am given everything
Fine. yes. I am
But then why am i never happy?
Shouldn’t I be an irresponsible child for once?
I know that you were once.
Isn’t that what now is for?
Let me make those mistakes you have made.
Is that not what growing is?
You.
You have made me lose myself.
I want to find that person again.
Some far off place where I am free to reinvent everything
I know I can do this.
I am sorry you don’t want me to leave...
But if i stay I will just see them
And you will say no.
I will see them living and see me watching and I don’t think that I can bare that.
I know that I can’t bare that.
That’s why I have to go.
Just for a short while okay?
To reclaim that courage that you have ripped from me.
To find me without them or you around setting standards for each different reality
I am ready.
It will all be okay. I promise.
Please?