sometimes i talk too fast & my friends don’t know how to handle me, not when my brain races in labyrinthine circles that don’t make sense to anyone outside of it, sometimes i lick the blood from my wounds only to cut them open again, sometimes i want to kiss your thighs, sometimes i want to die.  why does every morning taste like loss on my sleepy lips?  i don’t know why i love you to pieces when i promised i’d never rip you apart like the rest of them.  the coffee i drink these days is too bitter, its acidic aftertaste makes me wince & reminds me of all the times he screamed for me to eat & made me cry too hard to catch my breath.  i’m talking to the spiders on my ceiling again.  i’m talking about new beginnings.  or giving up again.  the truth is i’m afraid of myself.  the truth is i’m asking someone else to take control.  you’ll find me in the space between dreams & nightmares.  you’ll find me if you look hard enough.  just come.  please, prove to me i’m a lost cause worth fighting for.  give me your fragile heart.  give me your tender eyes.  my dear, i would **** to make you smile.  i would spend the rest of my life doing nothing else.